Posted by: arumchan | November 25, 2010

The airline safety syndrome

Sejak pulang ke Indonesia, banyak yg nanya, ada rencana kerja lagi apa nggak… dan selalu jawabanku sama, kalau nggak terpaksa ya belum ada niat lagi untuk berkecimpung lagi di dunia kerja. My work is at home– as my aunt said, managing the home– instead of the sensitive “ibu rumah tangga” status. Yes, home manager sounds better. What better job can I have than directly taking care of my hubby & son and making sure the household runs smoothly? And I’m speaking on my behalf only, not intending to go into other people’s preferences– I believe that everyone has their own choices and preferences, so let them be 🙂

Anyways, being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) is not easy, apalagi I prefer to be as nanny & maid free as possible. Call me a control-freak, but for direct family matters, I don’t trust anyone 🙂 Sometimes I’m overwhelmed at the number of things on my to-do list, belum lagi managing the quality time sama hubby and our son. Dan setelah pulang ke Indonesia, tambah lagi managing the social & extended family (read: grandparentS) agenda. Jadi kadang2 i’m caught up in the what I call “airline safety syndrome”.. let me explain:

Kalau naik pesawat, there’s always that part where they tell you how to put on oxygen masks in case cabin pressure changed. And then there’s the line, “always put on your mask first before putting on your child’s”. This implies, take care of your ownself first, which you know how to do and can do efficiently and effectively, and then you can focus on others that might take longer & harder to take care of. Tapi, instinctively, usually we prioritize others first and then forget about ourselves because we’re too busy trying to take care of others, yg kadang susah kadang gampang. Nahh, with me, kadang suka terlalu fokus pingin menyenangkan orang lain selalu tanpa memikirkan diri sendiri.. which is good to some extent but bad in the long term. Meaning, klo lupa ngurus diri sendiri, lama2 bisa burnout, dan itu efeknya ke semuanya. (Bukannya selalu mengutamakan diri sendiri lho ya, that’s a different matter).

So now I’m learning to not feel guilty in setting aside time for me-only once in a while– to do what I want and makes me refreshed (and making necessary arrangements, hehehe) . Coz I deserve some me-time once in a while, regularly. Maybe other people aren’t like me (I know some SAHMs who are 24/7/365 totally immersed in the household & family thing, and I have no idea how they do that, nor do I wanna know). But I do need to get out of the house alone (yg nggak segampang dulu waktu tinggal di Matsuyama).. atau setting aside some me-time at home, such as writing my blog, hahaha ;p Alhamdulillah di sini tinggal nggak terlalu jauh dari sumber yg menghibur (read: salon & pusat perbelanjaan yg adequate), jadi pas me-time gak tua di jalan 🙂 The other day, while our son took his nap, I went to the bookstore and got myself a novel & comic book.. and while I was there, coincidentally met up with a close friend of mine.. boy did it feel refreshing! (Err, setelah baca novel & komiknya lebih seger lagi, hehehe). Dan hasilnya, the next day I was refreshed & lebih semangat lagi doing my daily activities, and also more inspired to cook ;D

So I guess, in this case, we need to know what can make us feel refreshed, what our interests and hobbies are (which, sadly, kadang suka lihat ada SAHM yg lain yg saking dedicated-nya suka gak bisa jawab klo ditanya interest & hobby-nya apa)… and not feel guilty about setting aside time for yourself. Yes, the cleaning & laundry can wait. You can order take-out– or better yet, ask hubby to cook 😉  Your kids can survive a few hours with their dad. And most important, you can persuade your hubby and family that this is good for you AND for them– who likes a cranky wife/mommy anyways? ;D As I once heard: happy mommy, happy everybody 🙂

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