Posted by: arumchan | December 16, 2010

M.om

The other night before going to bed, hubby was scrolling through the TV channels. We came across part of a magic show, where a magician who was good with numbers– let’s just say a numerician?? (is this even a word?) was finishing up a number trick. Not as fancy-shmancy as the knife-throwing magician afterwards, but that numerician said something that got my attention, kurang lebih seperti ini:

 

kalau memang hanya menjadi pohon kecil, jadilah pohon yg bisa memberikan kehidupan untuk sekitarnya.. apapun kita, jadilah yg terbaik untuk diri kita..”

 

Earlier on in the day, I was browsing through my fb account, looking at my friends’ statuses. The majority of my cohorts are pretty established, many with promising careers and a variety of achievements. The words psychologist, program director, manager, consultant, graduate student, and many more were glittering next to their achievements. Who won’t get intimidated from time 2 time with that?

 

Me, I took a consious decision to quit work after Botchan was born. I knew that we’d have to scrimp and save our monthly income.. but I promised myself, and Botchan, that I would become the mom that was there for him full-time (besides the occasional free me-time that I put in for myself– hey, I’m not a superwoman, I know I need me-time every now and then!). For me, no one can ever pay me enough for missing out on those moments. Even though I’m not always playing on the floor with Botchan and I often say “sebentar ya, Mama masak dulu.. cuci piring dulu, habis itu Mama temenin main.. bobo siang dulu ya baru nanti kita jalan2..”, but at least I’m there with him at home. Where I should be. Where my conscience is.

 

Call me a control freak or something, but I also don’t want somebody else taking care of Botchan and hubby. Okay, housework is not my cup of tea, but it’s bearable. That’s what the washing machine and self-squeeze mopping bucket are for ;p And I love to cook (just not the dishes afterwards). I love to eat, hahaha ;D With the ready-made food and resaturant prices out there, my stomach won’t digest the thought of eating out, anyways!

 

But every once in a while, those negative put-me-down thoughts sneak into my mind. And in those times, I remembered that numerician’s words– actually the principle behind it. That I don’t need any glittering title to make me proud of myself. That I’m proud of my decision to stay at home, even if my predicate is just M.om or the biased “ibu rumah tangga” phrase that I don’t really like. Even if I am “just” a stay-at-home-mom or home manager–as I prefer to say– at least I’m trying to be the best one. That just because I’m not in grad school doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped learning. That just because I don’t go to work in an office-9-to-5 doesn’t mean that I can’t achieve big things (and if I’m lucky, big money haha) from home. Because all that glitters is not gold. And even though I’m not out there saving the world, I know I’m doing my part. I realize everyone has their choices, this is mine… and insyaAllah I’m sticking to it.

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