Posted by: arumchan | July 5, 2011

A letter for my son

For my “big boy” of mine…

As I’m writing this, you’re still asleep in your diapers and PJs. But the moment you wake up, your laughter and chatter will fill up my day. We’ll go about with our day together…playing, eating, cooking, cleaning, watching TV, gardening– whatever it is, you’ll be there by my side. Most of the time busy with your version of “big kid” activities, sometimes whining and the occasional crying for attention or out of frustration when things just don’t go “your way”.

I truly enjoy spending every moment with you around, I know times like these will pass by ever so quickly. Before I know it, you’ll be all grown-up and spreading your wings to start your own adventures, test your own waters. And insyaAllah, I know that day will come. And InsyaAllah, I’ll always be here when you need me. But this I will promise you, insyaAllah… I hope I can be a mom that you’re proud of. I hope I will be a mom that can pre-occupy myself with hobbies, interests, and passions that we can talk about whenever you find time to visit me. InsyaAllah your dad and I will enjoy spending our old days together, enjoying each other’s company whenever you’re not around to visit. We don’t want to nag you and make you feel guilty for not spending every single weekend with us when you’re an adult and have your own family. InsyaAllah we won’t rely on you to do our errands, but if you want to help or take us we’d always appreciate the time spent together. We know you’ll find the time amidst your activities to come home and visit, maybe even spend the night or two. Anytime you decide to drop by, we’d always love your company– the doors will always be open for you. And we’ll always call first to ask if it would be okay to drop by your place every now and then. And hey, it’s okay to say no, even if you’ll just be staying at home and sleeping for the day.

InsyaAllah we’ll have had our chance to be first-time parents and raise you ever since you were born, so we’ll stand back and let you and your wife learn to be parents as well. We’ll just enjoy our statuses as grandparents and be just a phone call away whenever you need help, advice, or a baby-sitter. (And we’ll send you parenting books as well for handy info, we hope you read them or at least, skim through them and bookmark the important parts, haha). We won’t take part in the “grandparent wars”, we’ll let you decide how often our face-time will be. Even though we’ll spoil our grandchildren, we’ll always check-in with you and your parenting principles.

I know this seems too early, but I just want to make a reminder for myself because as people grow older they tend to forget things (I know I do) and people say that you become more childish when you are at that old-age (now this, I probably won’t admit myself either, haha). And this is also a promise to you, that insyaAllah I’ll try to be the best mom I can for you. I’ll try to teach you all the important things and virtues in life, with good Islamic values as the light of your path. InsyaAllah I’ll do my best in letting you grow, develop, and learn at your own pace, helping you through the tough times without crippling your ability to learn from your mistakes. I want to support your interests, passions, and help you find your talents.. so insyaAllah you will live a fulfilling life spiritually, mentally, and physically. (But hey, you’ll still have to learn the basic school subjects, hehehe). I’ll point out right and wrong, hopefully in a way that will help you grow into a better (not bitter) person. And I’ll keep on learning and expanding my knowledge about parenting and about you as my son.. I’ll try to listen, not just hear. I’ll try to not be judgemental as long as I can have your honesty. And God knows I’ll try to be as patient as a mom can be (I’ll be angry at you sometimes, but please remember that I’m not angry AT you but I’m angry at your behaviour. I still love you, always will).

I know Allah entrusted you with me and your dad to make us into better people and have a better life. And I keep on reminding myself that even though I am your mom and you are my son, technically you are Allah’s creation and you are not “mine” as an “asset” or a “throphy” (please always remind me to say alhamdulillah if somebody praises you).  Kamu amanah Allah yang paling berharga. And all I can do is be thankful for you and pray that I can fulfill my role as the best mom for you, insyaAllah.

Lots of love always,



PS: Papa also thinks the same way as I do in this letter. He loves you too. 🙂


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