Posted by: arumchan | June 10, 2012

5 years

On this day exactly 5 years ago, my parents gave me advice on my new marriage: don’t forget that you have to give-in to your husband from time to time. And 5 years ago, I reluctantly agreed– not to getting married but to the “giving in” part. I wanted my marriage to be equal on both parts, husband and wife. Relatives and other married friends also said to be prepared for finding out things about your husband that you never knew about. At that time, I thought, what else is there left for me to find out— we’d been dating for 6 years, I think that’s long enough for me to know about him, right?

5 years later….

I do give in to dear hubby. I let him sleep-in on weekend mornings and skip the middle-of-the-night diaper changes and baby-pick-ups with our second baby. I’ve learned to appreciate whatever he brings home.. even if he surprises me with (unnecessary) food even though I had already cooked dinner. I’ve learned to give in to his hobbies and his habits, even though sometimes they drive me crazy.
But you know what? The truth is, over these 5 years, he has given in to me more than I probably have to him. But he says nothing. He just lets me have my ways and silently (and hopefully happily,) agrees to how I arrange our life and home. On those days when I get angry at him for being so stubborn and having his own way (instead of mine).. it is only later on that I learn the other things he’s been not saying to me, such as “I’m really tired from work but let’s go out tonight to get some groceries. I have a bit of a headache but I’ll take you out this weekend with the kids to have some fresh air. We’re tight on money this month but let’s go eat that margarita pizza that you love.” … and other things that he keeps so well inside just to make me happy (and not worried). Things that make me cry coz I feel really childish for complaining and dumping my emotional trash on him.. when actually, he’s done a lot for me.. for our family, without complaining as much as I do sometimes.

Everyday I’m still learning about him. Time passes and people change, so everyday I want to learn more about my own hubby. And it would be foolish for me to close my eyes about his past & present influences on his life that make him who he is today, when I myself have a degree in psychology *duh! Smack on forehead*! But sometimes I do close my eyes and forget that it isn’t necessary his fault if he sometimes acts in ways that make me mad or frustrated. I forget that it’s easier to discuss it with him in a polite way and tell him straight-forward what I want and why I’m dissapointed. I forget that it’s not healthy to keep a marriage “score card”, because the give and take is mutual, and we both do it wether it can be seen or not. And I forget that God makes us complete one another.. we both aren’t perfect and neither is better than the other, but somehow, someway, we really do complement each other.. and what’s important is that we’re happy, no matter what anyone else may say about us. I’ve learned by now.

So, dear hubby… here’s to 5 great and happy colorful years together… and to 2 very lovable & snuggable kiddos.. and insyaAllah looking forward to many more years with you! Love you so much xoxoxoxo



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